MONDAY BONBONS

I just saw the most pornographic, shocking, funny and surprising film I've ever experienced.  Did you know that Hugh Jackman, Gerard Butler, Dennis Quaid, Halle Berry, Richard Gere, Emma Stone, Terrance Howard, Liev Schreiber, Uma Thurman, Jason Sudeikis, Gregg Kinnear, Seth MacFarlane, Naomi Watts Kate Winslet, three real NBA stars and others, are all in this same movie?  No, not Les Miserables.  Nothing to do with a tsunami.  The title is Movie 43,  which got a Rotten Tomatoes review rating of 5%, with an audience liking of 43%.  Reviewers used terms such as scatological,  humiliating and turkey.  I also noticed that there were only three people in the entire theater and the film ended up #7 for the weekend, garnering revenues of a measly $5 million.  You've got to wonder if the producers had strong blackmail evidence to force these actors to appear.

However, the  Washington Post gave the film 3.5 stars, calling it "a near masterpiece of tastelessness."  My warped mind is arguing that, while, yes, disgusting and all that, this might be the most entertaining show I've yet seen this year.  My body is not unlike the United Nations, though.  There is very little consensus, especially when I try to golf.  Sure, it's only January, and  I've "only" gone to six movies, but Hugh Jackman with visible testicles for an adam's apple and Halle Berry making guacamole with her bare and computer enlarged breasts?  Incredible.  When I someday find photos I'll place them here.  Maybe I should go back and take them myself.

Moving on to television, earlier this month I reported on the giant squid.  So I watched the Discovery Channel program on this large ika  last night.  This was the first eyewitness filming of this monster of the deep in its natural habitat, and occurred off Japan six months ago.  The 40-day expedition was led by Dr. Tsunemi Kubodera of Japan's National Museum of Nature and Science.  Here is a photo I took of the beast (at around 2000 feet deep) from my TV set:

The team should be congratulated, of course, for this significant achievement.  Which nevertheless leaves me a bit disappointed, for the "monster" was only ten feet long (it was missing two large tentacles, so the write-up indicated the total length could have been 26 feet).  It appeared that the bait was almost as large.  A 28 footer was caught alive and photographed off the Falkland Islands in 2004, but died the next day.

In 2007 New Zealand fishermen caught a 33 foot long colossal squid near Antarctica.  The giant is longer, but the colossal heavier.

For the record, the Giant Pacific Octopus could well have an arm span of 30 feet and weigh 600 pounds:

In the entertainment field, Pat Benatar is 60 years old.  She is known for "Hit Me With Your Best Shot," among others, and is currently on tour, with Journey and Loverboy in Moline, Illinois on February 6.

Mick Jagger will be 70 in July, and the Rolling Stones are weighing offers to tour this year.  Neil Diamond celebrated his 72nd birthday this past weekend, will perform in the United Kingdom this summer and return to venues on the West Coast in September.  While she has just about really retired, I think, Tina Turner is all of 74 years old and, after living near Zurich, Switzerland, for almost two decades, just decided to become a Swiss citizen.  Her biggest early hit was "Proud Mary" more than forty years ago.  Watch her sing this song when she was just about to turn 50 in Rio.  To the right at 71.

-